Still no diagnosis

Hello! We still do not have a diagnosis, but I did have a CT of my chest last night and an MRI of my head this morning, so hopefully the results of one of those will give the doctors a clue as to what is going on; I dread the alternative of the spinal tap, but I will do what I have to.

I don't know how many of you followed Randy Pausch's story, but I had seen him back in September on Good Morning America and had been following him ever since. For those of you unfamiliar with him, he was a Computer Science Professor at Carnegie Mellon University here in Pittsburgh who was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer several months ago and gave a "Last Lecture" at his University that spread across the country and world through YouTube. Randy passed away last Friday; I heard the sad news in the car on our way to Pittsburgh. I had been really praying that Randy would beat the cancer, both for his family and for all of the people he touched with his last lecture. Last night ABC aired a final tribute to Randy and when it was over, I just couldn't sleep. I finally sat up, opened my computer, and wrote down the thoughts I was having, I would like to share them with you.

A Message for those with Chronic or Terminal Illness:

Have you ever wondered why so many people are drawn to and moved by a Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture) or a Morrie Schwartz (Tuesdays with Morrie)? It is because these men have lived their terminal illness with dignity and joy. They did not constantly ask, “Why me?” but instead accepted what they were given and made the most of it. We are all going to die, but seeing someone who knows he is dying, yet keeps living life to the fullest, brings us hope and a sense of peace; peace despite the inevitability of death.

In the last several months I have had a lot of time to reflect on, and wonder about, the role chronic illness plays in God’s overall plan. I have come to the realization that we may be misinterpreting the reasons for chronic and terminal illness. So many of us feel like we are being punished or that life isn’t fair, but I would challenge you to re-frame this life experience. Could it be that we have been chosen? Perhaps we should feel honored and privileged. Through our attitude about, and ability to cope, with our illness, we can be a model and inspiration to others, a tool God uses to help them appreciate their blessing of health and grow into better people. What an extraordinary gift we can give by living honorably with our discomfort.

If we can each strive to be that role model for others, our experience of illness can become a better and more fulfilling one because we are living out God’s perfect plan for us. May those of us with chronic and terminal illness strive to emulate brave people like Randy and Morrie, learning to live our lives of illness without anger, but instead delight in the life we’ve been given.


Love to you all! Nancy