(Picture taken in Ellicottville, NY at the Beer and Wine Festival. I was the Designated Driver for Scott and our friends Holly and Bryce. This was Scott's 4th year in attendance, but this was the first year I was healthy enough to go. We had a blast!)You know I have always tried to be honest here on my blog, so I thought I would share with you my latest struggle. It is a total vanity issue and is so silly, yet is causing me a lot of grief.
When my friends and family look at the above picture, they are so sweet and supportive and tell me I look great and healthy. When I look at the above picture I think, "Oh my, how much fatter can my face possibly get!" It seems as though every picture of me taken, my face gets a little bit rounder. Now, this shouldn't bother me. I am healthy, happy, doing things I never dreamed I would do again, yet it is a major thorn in my side. I know I have absolutely no control over it, it is caused by the Prednisone I am taking and will probably be like this for the rest of my life, yet I keep thinking there must be something I am doing wrong.
Please tell me I am not the only one who has become fixated on something about themselves that is unchangeable and needs to just be accepted and laughed about. Why are we so vain that we worry about these things? I am loved for who I am, not for my appearance, good or bad, I should know this by now, heck, I was a living skeleton for several months and still got loved on. It is a weakness I am working on and praying about and thought I should share in case any of you might be beating yourselves up about a similar vanity issue. We are all beautiful in God's eyes and we need to remember to view others as God does. External beauty means nothing in the eyes of God, it is the soul within who makes us truly beautiful!
You are all beautiful to me and I thank you for your encouragement and ability to look beyond my ever growing face to see the beauty that is within it.
My love to you all! Nancy
6 comments:
You are the most beautiful person in the whole world!
Nancy - I looked at this picture and thought you looked absolutely beautiful. My next thought was how blessed you are to be so beautiful on the outside and on the inside. Your special spirit radiates from within. I have a blog for you to checkout sometime: www.nieniedialogues.blogspot.com
You are a wonderful bright spot in many lives!
people see someone who has come out on the other side of illness - nothing else. that's what really counts.
claire, harley, goober and moxie
Nancy,
You are beautiful inside and out!!! We are thankful for your life!
We both send our love,
Dick and Judy
Nancy,
Since no one else has experience to speak from like we do. . . :) I can tell you that you are not alone. I have many things that I wish I could change, improve, obsess over, basically all the above :) I have noticed my face also is more round. I don't focus on that as much as other things like my out of shape abs, muffin top, cottage cheese thighs. . . the list could go on and on. But however I will take all of that to have what I have, I know you feel the same way. It's hard though, we have been focused on just staying alive for so long. . .and now we have time on our hands to worry about how we look. I think it's natural.
I do agree that you are very beautiful. I will always know you are beautiful. I am obsessed with feeling pretty, don't know why, but I am. Hope that makes you feel like someone understands.
LOVE YA!
Nancy,
Jamie made some great points in her note to you. You both have endured something so scary and focused so much of your attention on life and being there to live it. It must be so very hard for you to look for a different focuse that doesn't involve looks and outer beauty.
But your comment in your blog of "We are all beautiful in God's eyes.." and "External beauty means nothing in the eyes of God, it's the soul within who makes us truly beautiful." He gave you life (twice) and you are made in the image and likeness of God. The most beautiful creature of all!
God bless you, your wonderful life, and your beauty far beyond compair! I love you my dear friend and know when I tell you, I think you are one of the most beautiful people in the world outside and in, that I mean it with all my heart!
God bless you and your family
Jen Kudar
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